Today I woke and found my heart longing for someone. A dream that could never be brushed out of my head, that has ever scarred itself on my heart. I can't stand dreams like that, especially when they are with people that are so unattainable. It drives me insane. You know how I feel towards you, and I know how you feel towards me. It's just the matter of what you have at home that stops us from ever getting anywhere. It breaks my heart everytime I think about it. There are so many people here that I can have, but I only want you. Maybe it's the fact that I want what I ultimately cannot have, but I want you. My dreams scream everything I desire, and two nights in a row, you have been in them. I wish you were able to see that. And I fear next year we won't be as close as we are right now. It scares me to death. I don't want to lose you. I know I'll see you at parties, and maybe around school, but I don't know if it will be the same. I want you to realize how much I care for you. Even if I have to write it in a blog first, I know one day, I'll grow enough courage to tell you everything that occupies my thoughts about you. Every encounter with you makes my heart scream. Every touch from you makes my breathing short. I don't want to destroy what you have at home, so I'll keep these things a secret until you're ready for me to tell you in person. I care for you, I honestly do.One day, I hope you care for me too. I would always doubt my feelings towards you till I realized what how I truly feel towards you when I was in my dream. My dreams tell me what I want, and it made it clear that I want you more than I thought. I'm tired of how I feel towards people. I'm like a boy in that sense. I want what I can't have, once I can have it, I don't want it anymore. I wish it were different. I wish I were able to feel true feelings towards someone, but I don't, and I never have. What I feel towards you is different, however. I want you, and you want me, but you have someone else, and you aren't willing to give that up. I wish I had what she has, because she has something I don't. I hope you have a good summer, love. I'll see you in the fall. Hopefully we'll see each other soon.